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I was recently asked my opinion - simultaneously - on two topics which at first glance, had nothing to do with each other. After careful consideration of both, they still do not.

#1 Boxers or briefs?

#2 Why do you feel there is such high voter apathy i.e. people don’t vote? Do you believe more people would vote if the national election day was changed to a weekend or made a national holiday?

Because your Mommy still combs your hair and buys your underwear, it’s acceptable for BOYS to wear tighty whiteys. When one reaches young adulthood, however, all sane MEN should switch to boxers. A) They’re more attractive, comfortable and come in a variety of colorful prints at The Gap. B) If a situation arises that forces a man to be in public without trousers, you better believe having boxers on makes for a much less embarrassing situation. Unless you’re proud below the navel, if you know what I mean.

“The great thing about democracy is that it gives every voter a chance to do something stupid.”

Ain't dat the troof. Anyway, I did my research and found that in the last 44 years, the highest voter turn out was 63.1 percent. That was the 1960 election between Kennedy and Nixon. Not coincidentally, it is also the closest election ever, vote-wise. Kennedy won by only 110,000 or so votes. (Compared to the 543,826 separating Gore from Bush).

The lowest voter turnout was the 1996 election (Clinton vs. Dole), when only 49 percent of voters bothered to get out for their civic duty. It is the only time in the last 44 years when turnout fell below 50 percent, though a sparse 50.2 percent were in booths for the Bush I vs. Dukakis election of 1988.

I think it’s important to point out, however, that in elections since 1892, the total number of votes cast for president went up each cycle, except for 1904, 1944, 1988 and 1996. [Yes, yes, the population has gone up, too.] Even though 54.5 percent of voters came out in 2000, more than 105 million votes were cast for prez, the most ever. And that percentage was the highest in 28 years, beating out only 1992’s 55.2 percent.

Apparently holding an election on Tuesday is not very popular. Most countries that have one-day votes do it on a Sunday, with Saturday and Monday coming in behind that. Would having an election over two days on a weekend boost participation? Maybe. Probably far more helpful is instituting same-day registration, which only 6 states allow. Turnout in Idaho, Maine, Minnesota, New Hampshire, Wisconsin and Wyoming in 2000 averaged a little more than 68 percent, beating the national average significantly. This is something (among other progressive measures) Dan Johnson-Weinberger wants desperately for all Americans and actually went to Springfield to try and get a version of it done in Illinois.

I think the major reason voters don’t do the deed is because they see no reason to. Either politics turns them off, they feel as if voting makes no difference, or they’re relatively satisfied with the country. After all, whoever is president has no bearing on how good the writing is on All My Children or the price of Adidas soccer shoes on Ebay.

Personally, I vote because I strongly believe Democrats want to save the world and Republicans want to destroy it. No way am I gonna sit on my natural black ass and let them get away with that.